Friday, January 24, 2014

The Girl From Mars

So some days I feel like I'm the girl from Mars.


Let me explain, in a past life I used to have certain social aspects as in I had a social life. I went out with my friends almost everyday. It used to be if something was happening I not only knew about it, I made it happen. Some how way back when, believe it or not I was somebody. I had a big circle of friends, and I was popular in my group. I was the funny, i had a silly nickname from camp and i felt accepted enough to be bold and outgoing. I was involved in everything from sports teams to volunteering at the church, I was on kitchen prep team, a youth alpha leader, and on the youth drama team.


That was exactly four years ago. Reflecting on those memories makes me feel like a completely different person than who I am in this moment. Today, not gonna lie, I've felt just plain awkward. Yes, just like Jenna Hamilton from the TV show titled Awkward. But In this moment, right now, I feel like... an alien space ship somehow kidnapped me over night and, has experimented on me, and left me in a state that's just so foreign to who I was and want to be. I am Elysia Bronson a student a Summit Pacific College and I have Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Fibromyalgia, and something the doctors can't, yet explain.


What is that jibberish you say? Well...


Hashimoto's thyroiditis is the most common cause of hypothyroidism in the United States. It is named after the first doctor who described this condition, Dr. Hakaru Hashimoto, in 1912.Hashimoto's thyroiditis is a condition caused by inflammation of the thyroid gland. It is an autoimmune disease, which means that the body inappropriately attacks the thyroid gland--as if it was foreign tissue. The underlying cause of the autoimmune process still is unknown. 


The thyroid gland makes two thyroid hormones, and those hormones circulate throughout the body in the bloodstream and act on virtually every tissue and cell in the body. These hormones affect metabolism, brain development, breathing, heart rate, nervous system functions, body temperature, muscle strength, skin moisture levels, menstrual cycles, weight, cholesterol levels, and more.Hashimoto's affects almost 5% of the population and most often affects women between the ages of 40 and 60.


I've fought accepting it for along time now. But I guess it's time to let go and let God. And as the ever present constant in my life, he has been here for/with me through my whole life. It is simply amazing to look back and see his providence and faithfulness! I can not say enough how much I love my God! This illness is a new territory for me, different from the other difficult areas I've wandered through in earlier years. Yet, it does not scare me today, as much as it did yesterday. It gets harder than I thought it could at times, but, this wonderful friend I have in God is there and understands exactly what it's like. He comforts me, and renews my strength, and together we press on to do great things.


I got up this morning took all 6 of my pills, ate breakfast, and went to class. And as I walked up those steps leading into the school I felt the pains in my body, the fatigue and as I went up each step, I wondered why I bothered to get out of that warm comfy bed. I saw students coming down from dorms and thought of how few people on the campus knew that I exist. These pessimistic thoughts are just that thoughts, and they need to be put in the trash where they belong not in my head. The funny thing is I didn't even notice they were wrong until I went to my class in which saw some friendly faces, sat down and heard a wonderful lecture about christine doctrine. Part way through the lecture the teachers giving an example of theology definitions and asks has anyone sinned this morning, and I reflect on those thoughts! O how they creep up on me, and probably everyone else. These are the thoughts that stop us from being effective in the lives of others. 


So that got me thinking what can I do to be more effective? And so I've decided I can help breach a gap between me and the world around me, I can share my life, my illness, my joys and my faith. Perhaps touching someone else's life, or at least helping them to better understand life with a disorder.  


~ElysiaB


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