I Won't Be Left Behind

I Won't Be Left Behind

I run my fastest
But still get beat.
I land on my head
When I should be on my feet.
I try to move forward,
But I am stuck in rewind.
Why do I keep at it?
I won't be left behind.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                               
The harder I am thrown,
The higher I bounce.
I give it my all,
And that's all that counts.
In first place,
Myself, I seldom find.
So I push to the limit-
I won't be left behind.

Some people tell me you can't,
Some say don't.
Some simply give up.
I reply, I won't.
The power is here,
locked away in my mind.
My perseverance is my excellence,
I won't be left behind.

Make the best of each moment,
The future is soon the past.
The more I tell myself this,
The less I come in last.
Throughout my competitions,
I've learned what winning is about.
A plain and clear lesson-
Giving up is the easy way out.

So every night before I go to bed,
I hope in a small way I have shined.
Tomorrow is a brand-new day,
And I won't be left behind.

By Sara Nachtman

Today I went for ultrasound testing and x-rays, that a internal specialist sent me for. After I had put the scratchy blue gown on and waited in the third of five waiting rooms (I suppose on for each stage of differing processes) I over heard a lady at the desk talking with the other lady next to her. They were talking about starting to write down everything they never said but should have... An interesting idea I thought. There are so many things that are left unsaid, some for good reason and others because we hold back cause we don't have the right words. Yet, given time and thought perhaps those things left unsaid could have repaired fences or bridges burned. What relationships could have been saved, bruised ego, or feelings could have been averted, I don't know it just made me wonder what are people around me leaving unsaid. And if I wrote out all the things I've left unsaid how much would there be? Perhaps it could be a form of therapy I might try writing out everything left unsaid from past circumstances. 

All I know is that this disorder is like a force field put around me containing my actions to slow motion while everyone else flies by. I run my hardest but still get beat, yet the truth is that giving up would be the easy way out. I could easily give up and some days I do. Stay in bed, and let the pain consume me, laying there in self pity as the world flies by. Yet, I keep getting up and pushing as hard as I can each day, because I desperately don't want to be left behind. Although stopping to consider who is passing me by, or leaving me behind I wonder, well the answer is I'm not certain. I just feel this dreaded feeling like I'm behind the rest of the world. It may be because I am no longer apart of that social group I grew up in, but I had no hand in them leaving me behind, that was not my choice. I was sick in bed and could not keep up appearances and soon am long forgotten but, I feel left behind nonetheless. hmm, something I'll move past eventually. I am me, just who I was created to be and so you see I'm exactly where I'm meant to be.