Well this week has been a bit of a set back in health and school.
While I've been able to finish my first textbook and essay, I haven't been able to make it to classes do to pain worsening. So I sit in bed trying to read over notes and textbooks, but mainly I'm just trying to stay on track. My headache was bad monday, and worsened with each passing day. My neck and shoulders are so tender, and compared to the soft tissue damage from the car accident last sept. this pain is worse, and carries right down to my lower back. I'm not sure how much more I can take of this, I need support to help me get by. Every part of my body is in throbbing pains, shooting pains and electric pulsing pains, it hurts even to type which is ridiculous.
Tuesday, when I saw my doctor he seemed worried that it's been getting worse. Last time I went in he found something wrong with my shoulder tendon and this time apparently I have golf elbow, and tennis wrist, Oh the terms they come up with for pain spots. The odd thing is I don't play tennis and it's snowing so there's no golfing to be done. Any who he's thinking, prescribing, referring, sending me for blood tests, and ultrasounds, yet nothing shows up and I keep getting worse. To be honest, I'm afraid for how much worse it can get, before the doctors figure it out. The rest of the week my pains have progressed in their same worsening fashion, and I don't think these pills are working anymore.
As afraid as I am of the decline of my health, I also fear for my schooling slipping away from me, I don't want to let go of it and I really don't want teachers to worry, cause I know I can do the work. It brings me hope, cause it feels like it's all I have sometimes. It's what separates me from being sick at home all the time and still trying to manage and achieve things. I will take longer to get my counselling degree but I will push harder than others without illness to get it. Cause it makes me feel like I'm still getting somewhere, I'm still reaching my dreams. I just pray for a little grace and less pain to make it through. I wonder if anyone else feels like this?
While I've been able to finish my first textbook and essay, I haven't been able to make it to classes do to pain worsening. So I sit in bed trying to read over notes and textbooks, but mainly I'm just trying to stay on track. My headache was bad monday, and worsened with each passing day. My neck and shoulders are so tender, and compared to the soft tissue damage from the car accident last sept. this pain is worse, and carries right down to my lower back. I'm not sure how much more I can take of this, I need support to help me get by. Every part of my body is in throbbing pains, shooting pains and electric pulsing pains, it hurts even to type which is ridiculous.
Tuesday, when I saw my doctor he seemed worried that it's been getting worse. Last time I went in he found something wrong with my shoulder tendon and this time apparently I have golf elbow, and tennis wrist, Oh the terms they come up with for pain spots. The odd thing is I don't play tennis and it's snowing so there's no golfing to be done. Any who he's thinking, prescribing, referring, sending me for blood tests, and ultrasounds, yet nothing shows up and I keep getting worse. To be honest, I'm afraid for how much worse it can get, before the doctors figure it out. The rest of the week my pains have progressed in their same worsening fashion, and I don't think these pills are working anymore.
As afraid as I am of the decline of my health, I also fear for my schooling slipping away from me, I don't want to let go of it and I really don't want teachers to worry, cause I know I can do the work. It brings me hope, cause it feels like it's all I have sometimes. It's what separates me from being sick at home all the time and still trying to manage and achieve things. I will take longer to get my counselling degree but I will push harder than others without illness to get it. Cause it makes me feel like I'm still getting somewhere, I'm still reaching my dreams. I just pray for a little grace and less pain to make it through. I wonder if anyone else feels like this?
~ElysiaB
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