Its 2:57AM and oh how I wish I were like my husband, so sound asleep that I start mumbling :) . At least theres late night entertainment. lol. Tonight reason for unrest is the pounding in my head, similar to last night, and the night before last. I have what feels like a bump on the front left side of my head thats been throbbing. Not sure what it is and at times I've been on and off debating going to the clinic or ER...I just can't bring myself to do it. The thought of wasting 5 hours, of being in a contagious place with an immune system that will not defend me is too big a risk. I'd rather stay in bed and hope it goes away till I can't bear it. That may sound masochistic but I've really just had too many late nights of doctors who are dumbfounded by my condition, then getting tested, to be released cause they can't keep me and have no answers. I leave a bit dis-heartend and sicker as I always catch something from who knows who, in the hospital theres always enough illness to go around. I feel the same about doctors clinics. Other than waiting out the awful pains and symptoms till the next dr. appointment or specialists appointment, which are obviously worthy risks of catching a cold, I almost always decide against a clinic. And thus, my bump on the head tenderly throbs, neck pulsates with a pain into my chest, and I sit awake watching House.
A health book that was recommended, brought up an important controversial issue in the christian community...the idea of sin being linked to illnesses. Which in some cases may be true, but I find a common misconception is that it is true for everyone who has an illness. Although this is very large topic I'll keep it brief, I disagree with the common generalization that all illness is caused from sin or un-forgiveness. (refer to more in depth posts before this one for more detail) please don't be confused, I do believe God heals today, and that miracles happen, yet I also understand that sometimes he allows illness for the betterment of all, to bring others closer to himself. Point being, God is big enough to heal us, but also incredibly wise and beyond our understanding, who are we to judge his timing. It's enough for me knowing that he loves me, that he means what he says in his word, and that I can trust him to guide my life.
I agree and side rather with teachers like Joni Erikson, Mother Teresa, and Jesus. I think that those people that go around suggesting to people with illness that they are sick due to a sin, should first educate themselves a bit further. As well as noting that unless you are close with a person, how can you think saying such a thing randomly to someone you just met will make them feel. It frustrates me, particularly because I've been on the recieving and end of such comments and often wonder, "what do you think I've done..." aside from the are withhold, "who do you think you are". When in doubt treat others as you would want to be treated, if you cannot at least be polite enough to do no harm. I highly recommend reading Joni Erikson Tada's book's, we had one as a text to review and it helped a lot.
Here's a review of Joni's book for those who haven't read it:
Joni Eareckson Tada's insights on suffering have been forged during more than thirty years in a wheelchair. In When God Weeps she and her longtime friend Pastor Steve Estes explore questions of theodicy beyond the superficial. They proclaim faith in a God, "big enough to understand our suffering, wise enough to allow it." This is not your superficial "God wants everyone to be healthy right now" approach!
Their approach is radically God-centered. Rather than starting with man's concerns and then either apologizing for God (like open theism) or accusing him (like skepticism), they attempt to start with who God is. The first section of the book looks at God's gracious self-revelation in Christ. With infectious joy they attempt to describe the Trinitarian God's attributes: his beauty, his goodness, his sovereignty. Their point is that God is contented forever in his own glory. They paint a Biblical picture of a God of infinite passion and love. "Our call to suffer comes from a God tender beyond description" (p. 40).
And this God is himself a sacrificial, suffering servant. "The Trinity planned it. The Son endured it. The Spirit enabled him. The Father rejected the Son whom he loved. Jesus, the God-man from Nazareth, perished..... This is who asks us to trust him when he calls on us to suffer" (p.54). God hates suffering (p. 57), and yet, "(t)he Bible could be no clearer. God does ask his children of every nation... to suffer" (p. 65). Alluding to C.S. Lewis' famous line from the Narnia series, they conclude: "the sovereign God who holds your days in his hand is not safe. He's anything but. He's the King, I tell you. But he's good" (p. 93).
Having explored God's nature and character in very personal terms, the authors next turn to described God's actions and works in Section II (pp.97f.). As Tada learned from long, painful experience, God's Word tells us that he uses the weak of this world to accomplish his purposes, to his glory and their (our) special honor (p.113; cf. I Cor. 12:22). In this we can have fellowship in his suffering. They note, "By itself, suffering does no good. But when we see it as the thing between God and us, it has meaning" (p.135). The Cross is the key
Joni Eareckson Tada's insights on suffering have been forged during more than thirty years in a wheelchair. In When God Weeps she and her longtime friend Pastor Steve Estes explore questions of theodicy beyond the superficial. They proclaim faith in a God, "big enough to understand our suffering, wise enough to allow it." This is not your superficial "God wants everyone to be healthy right now" approach!
Their approach is radically God-centered. Rather than starting with man's concerns and then either apologizing for God (like open theism) or accusing him (like skepticism), they attempt to start with who God is. The first section of the book looks at God's gracious self-revelation in Christ. With infectious joy they attempt to describe the Trinitarian God's attributes: his beauty, his goodness, his sovereignty. Their point is that God is contented forever in his own glory. They paint a Biblical picture of a God of infinite passion and love. "Our call to suffer comes from a God tender beyond description" (p. 40).
And this God is himself a sacrificial, suffering servant. "The Trinity planned it. The Son endured it. The Spirit enabled him. The Father rejected the Son whom he loved. Jesus, the God-man from Nazareth, perished..... This is who asks us to trust him when he calls on us to suffer" (p.54). God hates suffering (p. 57), and yet, "(t)he Bible could be no clearer. God does ask his children of every nation... to suffer" (p. 65). Alluding to C.S. Lewis' famous line from the Narnia series, they conclude: "the sovereign God who holds your days in his hand is not safe. He's anything but. He's the King, I tell you. But he's good" (p. 93).
Having explored God's nature and character in very personal terms, the authors next turn to described God's actions and works in Section II (pp.97f.). As Tada learned from long, painful experience, God's Word tells us that he uses the weak of this world to accomplish his purposes, to his glory and their (our) special honor (p.113; cf. I Cor. 12:22). In this we can have fellowship in his suffering. They note, "By itself, suffering does no good. But when we see it as the thing between God and us, it has meaning" (p.135). The Cross is the key
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