Genie

I wake up and think I'm just not up for the task of what ever comes next I just want back into my bed. Laying awake in those first few moments of morning I feel no pain because my body and my mind haven't had time to connect. Those moments are mine and in them I wonder how far I could go in life if it were blissfully painless. Then I am swamped by the pain and remember, that even though I had a plan God has a better one, and even through the pain Blessed be his Name. For I am reminded that when I feel alone I never truly am, and when I feel like I can't handle the path he's asked me to walk, I remember he sees my whole life not just my short sight and has great plan. I love Deut. 31:6 "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." as it reminds me that God is always with me in the good and the bad, and in the pain. I guess this is why I can accept it all, because my hope is in the Lord, I know I can talk to him, I know he's there, just because I can't feel him or hear him does not make me alone. I can tell him everything I feel and know that he has gone before me and has chosen what struggles to allow into my life because he already knows how I'll get through and how it will mold me. Thinking over the struggle of not feeling like I can handle all that he has allowed for me to deal with I think about a mosaic, they're beautifully broken, yet each piece is intricately place and cemented back together in a new more beautiful way. The plate or glass was ordinary and mundane before and now it's a master piece.

The truth is that “The world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming it.” – Helen Keller.

It's all about how we choose to frame our trials, we can focus on us and how much worse off we are, how everyone else has gotten so much farther ahead of us and we can't catch up. That's easy, sooo easy. But, that self-talk hurts us. Self-pity is the easy way out, it's hard to look for the light when all we see is darkness at the end of the tunnel, and that when you need to pull out a flashlight. The way I see it God never leaves you, you leave him. Not because he did anything wrong but because you framed him as a genie and of course you'd be disappointed because he doesn't fit in that box, or any box.
~ElysiaB